Who am I? Blog Post #4

The summer going into my senior year of High School, I was extremely busy with football and my job in a research lab. Every day I had team lifts and practice for hours, which I balanced with my work in the lab. During the summer, it felt like I was living two completely separate lives. In the lab I was surrounded by intellectuals that were giving their lives to research and the pursuit of cutting-edge knowledge. On the other hand, before and after I entered this extreme academic environment I would be at practices and lifts surrounded by people on the other side of the spectrum. From the locker room shenanigans to the meathead lifting attitudes of my football teammates, my experiences and lives in these two completely different worlds were drastically different. In addition, during this time I was beginning my college applications. I decided to apply to sixteen colleges (six of which were University of California schools that had the exact same application) and nearly every school’s application had an essay prompt on personal identity. Intimidated by these large, daunting questions I realized I had never pondered or investigated my identity before and I entered a period of personal reflection. I was becoming very confused about my identity and who I was during this time because I felt like a different person in the two distinct worlds of academics and sports. I was very academic, focused on obtaining knowledge and motivated in a scholastic career in the lab. But in on the football field I was far less uptight, driven for physical success and ultimately very jock-ish: never once thinking about academics or research. This caused me and my perception of my personal identity to be torn between these two identities- as if I had to be one or the other. After bouncing back and forth between these two identities I came to the realization that I wasn’t either of the two, but rather a blend. At the heart of my identity laid an eagerness to improve myself, whether its intellectually or physically, and both the research I was conducting as well as my pursuit in football were fulfilling this desire. Overall, I learned that my identity spans across many stereotypical identity roles.